I've officially lost 35lbs. I'm a 140lb wombat. :3 10 more lbs to go.

Seth: I am really, really sorry about last night. I still feel really guilty even though everything worked out for you in the end. I hope your parents don't actually hate me and are just pretending to not hate me or something stupid like that Idon'tknow. I feel like a shitty friend. :(.


In other news -

OMG. ANTHROCON. The doe is picking us up on Wednesday and then we're going back to deerhouse for sleeping and then leaving in the morning. Thursday evening until Monday will be COMPLETELY wombat, panther and ouka time with occasionally some doe and ferret time hopefully? I miss you guys. And then some red panda time because I promised him. But mostly wombats, panthers and oukas. I swear. But there will be some tassie devil in there, too, because he just sounds fantastic and I'm glad we're rooming with him! Oh and another panther, too. And tabbycat. And um. Christ I've lost count.

Christ. I know so many people this year. So much different from last year. BUT that also means there are a lot of people I really don't wish to see. :/ Awkward. But I'm sure I'll get over it and lose them in the mass of GIANT WALKING ANIMALS.

Oh, and my friend Drache brought the cutest animal in the world to my attention: http://rainyeeyore.home.comcast.net/~rainyeeyore/

HOLY SHIT IT'S CUTE.

Now I'm going to do some housecleaning.

I have really, really impressively bad poison ivy. My rat died on Sunday and I went into the woods to bury him and got COVERED in it. Seriously. My arms are covered. I am like 90 percent calamine lotion right now and 10 percent wombat. I'm absolutely fucking miserable. It's so bad they've put me on prednisone.

PS: Message to Arpad - THIS IS WHY I DON'T GO OUTSIDE WITHOUT A GOOD REASON. :(

In other news all the free time in which I can't do anything but sit here, itch and feel sorry for myself while I spread more lotion on my arms means that I've gotten time to start putting together information for the novel I want to write. Yay!

So. I was listening to my Zune, and then I guess I must have put it down on my dresser and then went to the bathroom, and seriously that took no more than a minute, haha, and then I came back into my room and seriously like turned it upside down looking for it until I realised it was on my dresser. And I don't remember putting it there. At all. But I guess I must have because... it was there.

I'm scared. :|

WTF, seriously? I had the most amazing weekend ever in my life, with the most amazing people ever in life - ever, ever ever and I'm seriously so depressed right now. Something is just not right about that. I have a lot to look forward to - I'm going to Anthrocon at the end of this month, sometime in August I'm going to the beach for the first time in years and at the end of August I'm starting college. Holy shit. But I'm still really sad. :/ I guess I just hate the fact that all of these fun times are like spread apart and then inbetween them life just sort of sucks. We have no monies and I have like next to zero friends/people I can trust in my immediate area and even the groups of people that I used to hang out with even though we were never really superclose have all sort of ditched me. :| Or maybe I ditched them. I don't know. Either way, I don't go anywhere anymore.

I mean, school pressure is over. I finished all of my classes. I should feel a lot of freedom right now but I just feel so stressed out! I have no direction. D:. Summer never did this to me before. Traitor.

Also, I feel more shitty about myself than I think I ever have ever. Yes, I'm like nearly 30lbs lighter, and I did all of that to make myself feel better, but now I just feel like nothing is ever good enough. Now I'm being super sensitive about my height, super sensitive about my face (FUCK YOU ACNE. JUST FUCK IT ALL!) and even more super sensitive about my weight even though I'm no longer considered in the overweight category. :/ What is going on with me? I just feel so inadequate. I guess the complete lack of male attention other than one crazy fuckwit from Reading has something to do with it, maybe.

I needs hugs. :(